51 Funny Parenting Jokes

By Chad Montgomery
funny parenting jokes

Welcome to the rollercoaster of life called ‘Parenting’. It’s an adventure where the ups and downs are equal parts exhausting and exhilarating. Yes, it can be stressful, demanding, and can test your limits, but amidst all the chaos, there’s a silver lining – laughter. Humour can lighten the burdens and make the journey more enjoyable. So let’s dive into our collection of 51 funny parenting jokes, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.

Early Childhood Jokes

Baby Jokes

  1. Why don’t parents ever trust their babies? Because they cry and poop their pants!
  2. What’s a baby’s favourite type of key? A coo-key!
  3. Why did the baby cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long!

Toddler Jokes

  1. How do you make a toddler laugh on Saturday? Tell them a joke on Wednesday!
  2. What do you call a toddler running towards you with a cheese grater? A grate threat!
  3. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many little problems, just like my toddler.

Pre-schooler Jokes

  1. How do you get a pre-schooler to stop hanging on your leg? Pick them up and swing them around – they’ll start clinging to the furniture instead.
  2. Why don’t pre-schoolers get tired? Because they refuel every three minutes!
  3. Why are pre-schoolers like cell phones? You lose them, you panic. But then you realize they’re in silent mode next to you.

School Age Jokes

Elementary School Jokes

  1. Why don’t elementary school students ever play hide and seek with their parents? Because the parents will actually hide.
  2. How does an elementary school student express their love for vegetables? By using pea-mojis!
  3. Why did the elementary school student bring a ladder to school? Because they wanted to go to high school!

Middle School Jokes

  1. Why was the middle schooler bad at baseball? They preferred catching up with friends instead of catching balls!
  2. How do you get a middle schooler off their phone? Tell them it’s an ancient relic from the 2020s!
  3. Why was the middle schooler’s report card like a constellation? It was full of stars, but the grades seemed light-years away!

High School Jokes

  1. Why did the high schooler go to the school library? Because they heard it was a hotspot for ‘lit’-erature!
  2. How do high school students stay calm during a test? They know that everything will be marked okay in the end!
  3. What do you call a high schooler with a bunch of homework? A work’aholic!
parenting jokes

General Parenting Jokes

Mom Jokes

  1. Why don’t moms need bookmarks? Because the correct page is marked with a squashed piece of cereal!
  2. Why do moms always know where to find missing items? Because they’ve mastered the art of “If I find it, you’re in trouble”!
  3. How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, she just holds it in place while the world revolves around her!

Dad Jokes

  1. Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
  2. What’s a dad’s favourite type of car? Anything he doesn’t have to clean food off of!
  3. How do dads organize their jokes? In a dad-a-base!

Parenting Life Jokes

  1. Why did the parent cross the playground? To get to the other slide, and then the swings, and then back to the slide…
  2. What’s a parent’s favourite type of music? Anything that’s not a nursery rhyme!
  3. Why don’t parents play hide and seek with kids in the supermarket? Too tempting to hide in the car and take a nap!

Funny Quotes About Parenting

Inspirational but Funny Parenting Quotes

  1. “Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano
  2. “Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: everyone is yelling, everything is sticky, it’s the same music over and over again, and occasionally there’s some puking.” – Anonymous
  3. “Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” – Ed Asner

Hilarious Remarks from Kids

  1. Kid: “Mom, I’m hungry.” Mom: “Hi Hungry, I’m Mom.” Kid: “Mom, I’m serious.” Mom: “Oh, I thought you were Hungry?”
  2. “Why don’t they call it ‘dad-birth’?” – A child’s response to learning about childbirth.
  3. “Mom, when I grow up I want to be a dinosaur.” – A child’s unconventional career ambition.
holiday parenting jokes

Holiday Parenting Jokes

Christmas Jokes for Parents

  1. What do parents want for Christmas? A silent night!
  2. Why don’t parents need to put ornaments on the lower part of the Christmas tree? Because their toddler has already ‘decorated’ it!
  3. Why do parents like Christmas so much? Because it’s the only time their kids are on their best behaviour, in fear of being on Santa’s naughty list!

Halloween Jokes for Parents

  1. What’s a parent’s favourite Halloween treat? A quiet evening after the sugar rush wears off!
  2. Why don’t parents ever get lost in a haunted house? They’re used to their kids’ toys scaring them in their own house!
  3. Why do parents love Halloween? Because for once, the mess in the house can be part of the decoration!

Other Holidays Parenting Jokes

  1. Why do parents love Easter? Because their kids are too busy searching for eggs to ask for snacks!
  2. What do parents wish for on Thanksgiving? That their children would eat vegetables as enthusiastically as they eat pie!
  3. Why do parents count down to New Year’s Eve? Because it means the kids are finally in bed!
jokes about modern parenting

Jokes about Parenting in the Digital Age

Social Media Parenting Jokes

  1. Why don’t parents ever get lost online? They just follow the trail of open tabs their kids left on the computer!
  2. Why do parents never win at social media? Because they can’t keep up with the ‘likes’ of their kids!
  3. What’s a parent’s favourite social media platform? SleepChat. It’s like Snapchat, but you just send pictures of yourself sleeping to other tired parents.

Gaming and Parenting Jokes

  1. Why do parents make terrible gamers? They always press “pause”!
  2. How is parenting like a video game? There are endless levels, it gets harder as you go, and half the time, you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing.
  3. Why did the parent get kicked out of the video game tournament? They kept trying to clean the screen!

Technology and Parenting Jokes

  1. Why did the parent bring a charger to the parent-teacher meeting? They heard their patience was at 1%!
  2. Why are parents like old computers? They have too many tabs open, they’re slow to start in the morning, and their memory is not as good as it used to be.
  3. Why don’t parents trust robots? Because they’ve seen how their kids handle electronics!

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We Hope You Found A Funny Parenting Joke For Your Next Dinner

Parenting is a journey with ups, downs, and lots of laughter in between. With these funny parenting jokes, we hope you’re feeling the humour and shared camaraderie of this wild adventure. Remember, when things get tough, sometimes the best medicine is simply a hearty laugh. So here’s to more smiles, chuckles, and full-on belly laughs in your parenting journey!

Did these jokes bring a smile to your face? If they did, share this post with your friends and fellow parents. We could all use a good laugh! And remember, if you have a funny parenting joke or story of your own, don’t hesitate to share it in the comments below. Keep following us for more humour-filled parenting content to brighten your day!

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